Ready to Go

The other day, while facing the prospect that I will be leaving Birmingham on my way to Ghana in just over a month, I started feeling overwhelmed. I don't feel ready. I still have funds to raise, documents to submit, supplies to buy, books to read, workouts to complete, and scriptures to memorize. And those things are in addition to my regular to-do list. There is so much to do.

Today, however, God gave me grace. Sitting on my back porch, drinking in the sun-dipped leaves, breathing in the cool morning air, listening to the song of the birds, I felt a quiet reassurance...a whisper that I am ready. Not because of anything I have done but simply because the His Holy Spirt is inside me. Jesus said, "All authority...has been given to me. Therefore go" (Matthew 28:18-19).

The most important prerequisite has already been met. Jesus has authority. And since His Spirit is in me, I walk under that authority, infused with that power (see 2 Corinthians 1:21-22 and Ephesians 1:18-22). Therefore, I may go.

This is not to excuse me from accountability, nor does it remove those items mentioned above. It does, however, provide me with an assurance that over all my preparations, God has given me all that I need. He has set this trip before me. It was He who put the desire in my young heart to travel...to go. And He will be the One to see me through.

I may never feel ready. But Jesus didn't ask me to. He didn't ask His disciples if they felt "up" to going. He simply said, "go." And He gave them a promise: "And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age" (Mathew 28:19-20).

I am ready. Not because I feel so, but because He is with me.

Sources:
Girl with backpack looking at water at sunset. Digital image. Healing Hands Urgent Care. N.p., n.d. Web. 2 May 2015. <http://www.healinghandsuc.com/travel-med/>

Holy Bible New International Version. Grand Rapids, Michigan: Zondervan, 2002. Print.

Doing Hard Things

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The other week, after spending a hefty amount of money on shots for my trip to Ghana because insurance doesn't cover international vaccines, I was irritated. The thought crossed my mind, "Why am I spending so much money on a trip that may not even be that fun?" It will be hot. There will be bugs. I hate bugs. It will be rainy. Who knows what kind of food we will be eating. We will take bucket showers...for seven weeks. There won't be much indoor plumbing. Am I crazy? I could probably be much happier if I just stayed in Birmingham.

A few days after I was having those thoughts, my dad shared with me a blog post from Brain Cane, called "I Hate Running, and I Run Marathons...WHY?". In the article, Cane speaks of delayed gratification, of doing something hard not for the sake of doing it, but for the reward that comes after it. The article affected me on several levels. First, it made me want to get into shape! But it also reminded me of the bigger picture.

1 Corinthians 15:9 "If in Christ we have hope in this life only, we are of all people most to be pitied." What does this mean? I think it means we should be living in a way now that costs us. Christ has been raised. Therefore we have eternal pleasure. So if we miss out on some pleasure here on earth, that's okay. We already have the pearl of great price. We already have everything.

Praise God that Jesus didn't live for temporary pleasure! If He did, there would be no cross. But that doesn't mean there is no joy. There is...the very best kind. It's just in the "not yet" realm.

"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross...Consider him...so that you will not grow weary and lose heart" (Hebrews 12:2-3).

We wouldn't be given this word if there wasn't a possibility we would grow weary. We wouldn't grow weary if life wasn't hard.

But we don't do hard things just for the sake of doing them. We do them for the joy set before us. Just like Jesus.

Good Friday, the Air Force Force Academy, and the Willingness to Give It All

On this Good Friday morning I sat with my dad outside a small bakery eating my first hot cross bun and drinking an iced coffee.

He started telling me about another baseball coach who recently played Air Force. The coach was struck by the military school. If you were to walk into their hotel on an away trip at 5:30 in the morning, you would find them in two's, each player with his accountability partner, studying. This is the schedule they must follow in order to accomplish all of their responsibilities--baseball, military training, and their studies (And to think I complained about school when I was in college!).

The coach reported that when the national anthem was played before the game, Air Force's team was called to attention and stood with their salute. Air Force's coach spoke to my dad's friend about the future some of these men would face. He takes seriously his job to prepare them for that future. Some of them could give their lives defending their country.

My dad teared up as he recounted this to me. Tears sprang to my eyes too. "It's right for us to feel this way," I said. It stirs our hearts when we see people living for something bigger than themselves to the point that they are willing to die for that something. I believe it stirs us because it echoes what is written on our hearts--what we are called to do (1 Corinthians 5:15).

It's why I cry every time I watch the movie Valkyrie. It's why I loved reading Through the Gates of Splendor and Bonhoeffer and why I wept as I watched today Do You Believe?.

This day marks history's ultimate example of sacrifice. I think stories move us because they reflect the Great Story.

Jesus, Son of God, in obedience to the Father, lay down His life, bore God's wrath, and faced death head-on. He drank the full cup. What love.

"Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command." John 15:13 

Living for Something Larger Than Ourselves

"And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again." 2 Corinthians 5:15

"The way I see it, we ought to be expendable. In the military, we were taught that to obtain our objectives we had to be willing to be expendable. Missionaries must face that same expendability." - Nate Saint

"Such fatigues and hardship as these serve to wean me more from the earth; and, I trust, will make 

heaven the sweeter. Formerly, when I was thus exposed to cold, rain, etc., I was ready to please 

myself with the thoughts of enjoying a comfortable house, a warm fire, and other outward comforts; 

but now these have less place in my heart (through the grace of God) and my eye is more to God for 

comfort." - David Brainerd


These past few days I've seen a weakness in myself. I love comfort. That's not the weakness though. Where I find my comfort is. I look to circumstances--physical location, my schedule, my resources--to provide my feeling of comfort. Comfort is a good thing. But we need to go to the right place for our comfort. 

I've lived what some would call a charmed life. Why I've been so blessed, I'm not totally sure. I want to be grateful for those blessings. But I don't want to depend on them more than I depend on the One who gives them. 

I'm starting to see that my blessings should be a means to glorify God. God blessed Abraham so that he would be a blessing and so that ultimately, the nations may give glory to God (Genesis 12:1-3). If I see my blessings that way, then I won't be offended when they are taken away. Because, just as my "plenty" is meant to glorify God, so is my "lacking." I want to have the courage to bear both. I want to be so dependent on God that neither fears nor sorrow, nor pleasures have sway on my soul. 

I'm not there yet. 

I keep praying to know the love of Christ (Ephesians 3:19), because I believe only then, when I am rooted in His love, will I have the trust to sustain me. 

I love Bethel's song, "Brave." Notice how most of the song describes God's love and character. It is only after the foundation of knowing Him is laid that bravery follows. 

The funny thing about all this, is that it's upside down. You'd think that chasing bravery would be a scary thing. You'd think that facing the prospect of losing material comforts would cause chills (and sometimes it does!). But the apostle Paul didn't see it that way. Paul saw it as a gift. "And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again." Jesus's death freed us from the bondage of living for ourselves. In Him, we are offered something much greater, much sweeter. We are offered the privilege of living for Him...Wow. 

Lord, let my heart be enraptured by the greatness of that reality. 

Learning Love

I've been thinking lately about love. I've seen some people really good at it. They love people well. They think about others first. I want that trait to mark my life. Below is a poem that came out of some of those thoughts. 

Teach Me How to Love

Scornful eye cast

     on one less along

Perception of being

     farther along

Hidden rejection of

     someone I should love

Crying, “I want to know You.”

     But You are Love,

The command You give,

     “One another, love.”

Not searching for

     poetry, praise, A’s

“Feed Me, Clothe Me, Visit Me.”

     This to the least of these.

Greatest of all

      used towel and bowl

On knees, washing feet.

     Love with heart, mind, body, soul.

Though I’ve everything

     lacking this I’m nothing

You look at heart

     not at shell

Give not merely words

     but life as well

This, this will outlast all.

     While else falls to dust.

God, my God,

     we can because You have.

God, my God,

     teach me how to love.

I was reading in Ephesians 3:14-19, verses I'd read dozens of times before, and was struck by them, especially by verse 19, Paul's prayer for the church in Ephesus, "to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God." 

That's it. 

I long for a full life, a rich life, an abundant life. One with no regrets. One that is significant. One that is not wasted. I want to experience for all my days the fullness of God. And this is the fullness of God...knowing the love of Christ. 

Searching for the word "know" in a Bible concordance, I found that it means to learn to know, to perceive, to feel. It even can denote intimacy between a husband and wife. This knowing of Christ's love is more than intellectual knowledge. It is a real knowing, an encountering.  

If I ever hope to love others, I need to know His love first (1 John 4:19). I have been praying Ephesians 3:18-19 for myself and others; "Lord, let me know Your love that I may be filled with the fullness of God." 

Verse 20 gives me hope. He "is able to do far more abundantly than all we ask or think." He is able to do it. Amen. 

A Few of My Favorite Things

Starry heavens

Clear Winter nights

The sound of snow

Sunny morning sky

The smell of coffee

Brother strumming on guitar

Powerline horizons

The scent of red dirt

The feeling of spring

Hawaii

Sloppy wet niece kisses

Brother-sister talks

Daddy's hugs

Yellow carnations

Momma's steady love

Tight friends' hugs

Good books

Songs that stir

Worship

Dancing

Wins

Family cabins

Blue Bell ice cream

The Smoky Mountains

Family weddings

Colorful roses

Candles burning

Crackling fires

Epic movies

T-shirt sheets

Prayer

Blessings

Walks on the beach

Childhood stories

Big dogs

Christmas

The Bible 

Worth It

I was reading through one of my old journals and came across an entry that I'd like to share, if only to remind myself of the message.

I've transcribed a condensed and modified version below. The original was written on March 16, 2011.

I was reading from Beth Moore's A Heart Like His, a study on the life of David. This passage stood out to me: "God is looking for qualities that remind Him of His Son, the object of His most supreme affections. These qualities are developed in us at no small cost, just as they were in the life of David; but the pleasure of God is profoundly, indescribably worth it!" (166). 

These qualities--humility, accountability, worshipfulness, dedication, justice, kindness, restoration, protectiveness, to name a few--come by walking with the Holy Spirit. 

I don't know what the cost will be...to have these attributes in my life. But I think of God looking at me, pleasure in His eyes and heart, because I remind Him of Jesus...and that seems so valuable. To  stand before Him at the dawn of eternity and hear Him say, "Well done, good and faithful servant" is indeed worth every discomfort, every sacrifice, every inconvenience, every pain, every trial. 

I ask for the grace to be humbly obedient, just like my Rescuer was.